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Monday, February 27, 2006

The Hatching of a Heart

My husband is a sweetie!!! He dropped me off at home today and went to Sonic and brought back a Sweetheart Brownie Blast! Oh wow are those good. Right up there with the Choco Cherry Love Blizzard from Dairy Queen. I really am gonna have to cut out all this junk. I have had SUCH a sweet tooth lately! But at least I'm wasting calories on GOOD tastin' stuff.

I am much more encouraged today. Thanks to everyone who helped cheer me up. I take little things to heart. If people I love say the slightest off thing to me, it tears me up inside. I don't like people to not be happy with me. By the same token, someone can say the teensiest nice thing to me and it really lifts me up (Brad has it hard, AND easy at the same time!).

I cannot change the past. I cannot change a lot of things in the present. But I can pray! And I can put feet to the things that Jesus puts in my heart to do. I feel like I'm not as quick to respond to the Spirit of God like I used to be. What is it? Fear of man? Fear of failure? Fear of rejection? Fear of... fear? Whatever.

All I know is that I want to stop looking backward and start looking forward. I've got to keep my eyes on Jesus. I want my innocence back, but I'm only getting jaded by comparing myself with... my past self. I've got to look to who Jesus wants me to be NOW. What does He want out of me, here and now?

I've got to quit looking INWARD and start looking OUTWARD and UPWARD. C.J. Mahaney preached an awesome message on that at New Attitude my first time there.

It's funny how some things hit you right away and make an impact, and others kind of simmer for awhile before hitting you full force.

So, HA! As I'm inviting everyone to look inside my soul, I'm trying to look out and up. :-)

Umm... you're blocking my view. :-)

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