Emotional Wreckage

It's been one of those days. Woke up early feeling sick 'cause the air conditioner was off and it was too warm in here. This is the replacement one the landlord brought us since ours is on the fritz. I turned it back on and then laid down on the couch knowing it would get cool in there faster than in the bedroom.

I had wanted to get up early so I could shred the barbeque chicken in the crockpot and frost my lemon cake for the picnic at church today. Brad and I finally got up after nine, we have to leave at 9:30 in order to be on time for Sunday School. I frosted my cake, but in the process clumsly me made the thing fall off the table. I managed to catch it before it hit the floor... but with my bare hand right on top of that pretty cake! So yeah, no one is going to be eating that cake but Brad & I!

I started shredding the chicken... it turned out really good. But by this time Brad had been dragging his feet and was irritated that I wasn't ready to go yet... I was upset already that the cake was ruined.... Sigh. Big emotional morning. I cried and cried. We made up eventually but we ended up not going to church this morning. I had really wanted to go! The picnic was gonna be awesome, Wendy was gonna be there, Brad invited Connie to come... But I was just in no position to go anywhere. Things like this really affect me lately. I was shaky and couldn't catch my breath all afternoon. I just didn't feel right. Brad could have went on ahead and made it for the picnic, but he wanted to stay with me since I was feeling so weird. He's so sweet to me with things like this.

I went and took a nap around 3:30, still feeling weird. Brad went on to church while I was sleeping, I woke up a little while ago. Still tired, still weird, but I guess not as much.

I feel bad because the whole reason I was gonna stay home was to be able to run this house like it needs to be run. And I just haven't been able to. Either I'm sick to my stomach, or extremely tired, or extremely emotional. The days I do feel okay I can only do so much. It never seems to look any better because there's ALWAYS more dishes to wash, ALWAYS more laundry to do. And no matter how I feel in the mornings, come 3 o'clock everyday I'm shot and ready for a nap. Any energy I might have had just goes out the window. It's done nothing to encourage Brad that this is better for our family (other than the fact that we don't fight on a daily basis every day... Hey! That's a plus! We just make up for it once a week! But we do always make up quickly).

I just keep telling myself, this too shall pass, this too shall pass...

Could some one who is a mother please encourage Brad that this too shall pass? I'm doing the best I can. But sometimes it seems like there is no end in sight.

I could really use some of the fudge pie I was SUPPOSED to get from Wendy had I been there for the picnic...

Wait! I have cheesecake in the fridge! It's the really soft cheesecake-in-a-containter from the deli section of Wal-Mart, but hey, cheesecake is cheesecake.

Good grief. I'm so pregnant.